Please Stop, pt. 1

Every year some college in Michigan or Iowa or something publishes a list of 'banned words'; words or phrases that - due to overuse or misuse or just because they sound stupid and make people sound stupid when they say them - should be banished from our collective lexicon toot sweet. Stuff like 'paradigm shift' and 'it's all good'.

Excellent. But once a year ain't enough.

Here are a couple that have been rattlin' round in my headbone for a while. Let's kick these to the linguistic kerb as soon as possible, yes? Good:

'Not so much': This one started out stupid and just didn't go anywhere pleasant from there. It seems like it began its life on TV where, I don't know, I guess someone thought it sounded clever, and then it just propagated, like a virus or fungus or a potent fart. It makes people sound like they desperately wish they were a character on Grey's Anatomy. Actually, come to think of it, the one time I suffered through like 10 minutes of that show, I think the dialogue consisted entirely of the phrase 'not so much'. Why can't we put people who create bad TV shows in jail?

Here's another one. 'Just sayin'': People use this after they've been ranting about something. I guess it's supposed to cutesify whatever vitriolic diatribe they've just foamed about. Why cutesify a perfectly good diatribe? It boggles the mind. I was reading (and enjoying, oddly enough) a strongly worded blog post by Roseanne Barr (I don't know, maybe I was drunk. It's not important) but the whole thing fell completely to pieces when she ended it with: 'Just sayin''.

This is Part One. there'll be more. Be excited.